My Letter To People Who Might Care

Dear people,

    I have been through a lot of hardships and the bad times just keep coming. I wish that the good times outranked the bad, but the truth is, they really don't. I know everybody is always saying that there is more good in life than evil, but, for some, that isn't true, Sometimes the world is just bad.
    I'm not saying I'm perfect. I have done things that deserve me the right to karma every once and a while. But this all started when I was 4 flipping years old and I don't think that at that age, you can earn bad karma. So I guess maybe my karma off-set is just because I've been so messed up as a child.
    I didn't write this letter to necessarily get pity, nothing even close to that actually. I write this because no one understands why I hate being single... I hate being single because I get depressed and saddened very quickly. I hate being single because I have no one to hold me when I remember all of the bad things that have happened to me. I hate being single because I feel completely alone.
    Yes, I have friends. Yes, some of them care about me. No, it's not the same as having a loving, caring boyfriend. What you all don't understand is that I need someone to talk to and hug me and kiss me and tell me that the nightmares I've suffered are behind me. Instead, I've gotten disastrous relationships that simply add to my fears. Abuse, lying cheating, abandonment.
     So this letter is to those of you who call me needy, dependent, clingy, I need someone because it's what's keeping me from suffering from depression. I've been single for longer than I ever have before and it isn't a pleasant feeling to be alone. Alone in my thoughts, in person, and in everything else. I hate being single because it leaves me alone to be with myself in every aspect I could be.
     I love you guys. You're my friends. But you can't replace what I'm missing. I may never get what I'm missing either... But you guys, the ones who'll never understand me, cannot replace that hole... I love you guys and I love the person I'm missing, whoever that may be.

My name is Joslyn and this letter is for you...