I recently joined a website called "Letters I'll Never Send". That website is all about getting your feelings out and speaking your mind, no matter how hurtful or wrong they may sound. I love the aspect of the website. It inspired me to start this blog. I'm going to write letters to my friends. Whether or not they read it, is their business.
Dear friends,
This is to all of you. The good, the bad, and the mediocre. I love you all in different ways.
To my bad friends, you know who you are and what you've done to be labeled as such. You have hurt me and continuously put me down. You have spun my words into endless circles until, even, I finally start to believe your lies. You tangled me into your drama and the horrendous lives you weave. You made me feel like shit constantly but I stuck around. I stuck around in hopes that you would accept me. That I could be your true friend and get out of everything else you put me into. But guess what? I still love you. Not for the fact that you're my friend, not for the fact that I'll forgive you for your torment, but because you taught me a lesson. You taught me to be strong and to not trust unless I was absolutely certain they were going to be in my life and not blackmail me with it. So I love you for what you've done to me and I thank you for being the incredibly crappy friends you have proven to be. Without you, I wouldn't exist the way I am today.
To my mediocre friends, you may not necessarily know that I know who you are, but I'm not stupid and I have labeled you as such for a reason. You are the friends that listen to me bitch and moan and act like you care about the things I have to say. But in reality, you don't care. You may not tell people what I've told you, but you will go behind my back and call me a whore, a slut, a bitch, a moron, and a variety of other derogatory terms. I don't ever call you out on these either, because no matter what I say, you will lie to me about going behind my back. You are the people who would ditch me in a heartbeat and would never dream of being in my life had we not shared a heart to heart at one point or another. But I love you nonetheless. You have taught me to appreciate the friends I have that will not do this to me. I've come to appreciate all that I am not, due to what you believe I am.
To all of my good friends, you definitely know if you're in this category. You have helped me through tick and thin. You have listened to me, cried with me but more importantly, you have never left my side despite all of that. You are the people I rely on to make my day go better when everything is going wrong. You are the people I know I can talk to about absolutely anything and it will never be judged, no matter how bad it may be. You are the people who watch my ups and downs and still stick by my side. I love you all so much for being the best friends I could ever ask for. I love you for not being bad or mediocre like so many others are. I love you for being you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for never giving up on me, even if it seemed to be the best idea at that time. I love you all!
Good luck to my mediocre and bad friends. If you choose to stay in my life after this blog post, then go ahead, but that's your choice. Eventually, you'll leave my life any way, so why not sooner rather than later?
My name is Joslyn and this letter is for you. <3
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